I may not have to worry about being burned at the stake or branded with a scarlet letter, but I still have to worry about being institutionalized, and treated like a pariah. God meets many needs, but he doesn’t fullfill our need for physical human contact. Look to Genesis 2:18 to verify this. What no one from the church ever takes into consideration is how simple affection can assuage the need. All the same chemicals we get from sex we get from hugs, kisses and being physically close with people who we have meaningful relationships with. Kisses don’t need to be passionate to trigger the release of vasopressin. Intimacy doesn’t need to be carnal to be therapeutic, hugs, extended eye contact, and neck rubs can trigger oxytocin, so can cuddles and for men, eating triggers it.
Maybe if we put less emphasis on the inherrant temptation of physical contact with the opposite sex (or person of desire) and more emphasis on the purity of physical contact with people we love and how innocent that contact can be, a lot less people would struggle so much and feel less damaged. I am suffering, I can’t help but wonder how much endurance God thinks I need if I’m supposed to be rejoicing that suffering produces it. It’s hard to rejoice when you feel choked, smothered and in pain.
It’s hard to trust when you feel abandoned and if you’re being plagued from something that comes from within that separates you from God’s glory how can you not feel abandoned? But I’m afraid that’s not likely to happen for most born again Christians seeking to walk the walk. When you have a strong sex drive and can’t apply it in the biblical sense it is absolutely unequivocally a curse. Until you’ve lived it you cannot understand it, nor is anyone else in the church likely to understand or sympathize. Those who might are too busy hiding their history to glorify God for his good work in them by mentoring others facing the same battles.
For people who are sensory seeking the absolute worst thing to have to endure is deprivation and in a hyper sexualized world where the popular church teaching is puritanical that’s the only answer you ever get
I have to say it feels like a losing battle and unfortunately at least so far hadn’t been one God fights in my stead. As a matter of fact, the worse the attack the less he’s there in this case. When the temptation is such that no matter what you do you cannot escape not even into the Oblivion of sleep where is “the out” that was promised in 1 Cor ? I can’t just wake up and read my Bible every 15 minutes I need sleep! I’m sorry but this advice is still vague and empty of any real solutions. This is not ok, I am not ok, and don’t know if I ever will be.
Hey there. A whole lot of our thinking around sexuality isn’t of God: it’s of purity culture. I don’t think God is the one asking you to suffer; it’s purity culture. Here are some titles that will challenge purity culture, maybe make you uncomfortable, but from what I’m hearing you say, purity culture is massively failing you like it has everyone else. Here are some new thoughts.
Having a strong sex drive would be a gift in a relationship where it’s evenly matched, and appreciated
Hi Patsy, I have recently entered this journey of celibacy it was hard because it ended in a breakup with my boyfriend who I like very much. I am 22 so about half your age I too have been wild and I would love to talk to you in depth. Every one in this reply chat is suffering from sex and it is some what relieving and I think we need to talk about it with each other! Talk about our struggles and feelings of hopelessness and doubt! It’s a beautiful thing to share with people that feel are lacking all the answers! Please feel free to email me, anyone! To converse and gain perspective about our Lord! Having friends is a great way to realize that there is a connection and bond that is indeed stronger than sex and so much more pure.